Every horse and rider pairing begins with a promise. It’s an unspoken agreement—an invitation to move together, think together, and trust one another. But trust isn’t instantaneous. It’s built ride by ride, moment by moment, through the often challenging process of daily training. Resistance, whether subtle or overt, is not an obstacle to avoid but a signpost pointing toward where connection is lacking. When met with understanding and consistency, that resistance becomes an opportunity to deepen communication. Riders who prioritize the relationship as much as the result develop horses who are not only obedient, but invested in the work. At Messenger Hill Farm, Freddie Vasquez Jr teaches that every training session is a dialogue, and that clarity—not control—is the path to a willing partner.
Understanding Resistance as Communication
When a horse resists, it’s not acting out of malice or defiance. Resistance is communication. It may show up as pinned ears, a swishing tail, hesitations in movement, or outright refusals. Each of these moments is a message: something is unclear, uncomfortable, or overwhelming. The rider’s job is not to overpower the horse into submission, but to interpret the message and respond appropriately.
Sometimes resistance stems from confusion—an aid that was too abrupt, a cue given without context. Other times, it may arise from physical discomfort or fear. If a horse consistently pushes against contact or rushes through transitions, it’s rarely a training flaw alone. It’s a signal that the foundation needs revisiting. Addressing resistance starts with taking the horse’s perspective seriously. It requires asking not “How do I make the horse do this?” but “What is the horse trying to tell me?”
This shift in mindset transforms the rider from a taskmaster into a teammate. It invites observation over reaction, adjustment over punishment, and patience over pressure. When a horse realizes its signals are heard, it softens. That softness is the beginning of rapport.
Routine as a Relationship Builder
Consistency is the language horses understand best. They thrive on patterns, structure, and expectations they can predict. Daily training routines, even if brief, help reinforce this sense of reliability. When a horse knows what’s coming—how it will be approached, how long it will work, what aids feel like—it can relax into the rhythm of training.
This doesn’t mean riding becomes mechanical. Instead, it creates a scaffold for security. Within that structure, the rider can introduce new ideas, refine technique, and stretch the horse’s abilities without shaking its trust. Horses trained in chaotic or overly demanding environments often become guarded. They brace against pressure because their past experiences tell them discomfort is coming.
By showing up with the same presence, tone, and intention each day, the rider becomes a dependable partner. Warm-ups are familiar. Cool-downs are reassuring. Expectations remain fair. Over time, the horse begins to meet the rider halfway—not out of fear of correction, but out of confidence in the relationship.
Feel Before Fixing
Great riders are defined not by how well they can cue a movement, but by how precisely they can feel what’s happening underneath them. Developing feel means learning to listen with the entire body—seat, legs, hands—and responding not with habit but with thoughtfulness. When the horse hesitates, feel tells the rider whether to wait, repeat, or modify. When the horse braces, feel reveals whether it’s tension in the back, misunderstanding of the rein aid, or anticipation of discomfort.
Reacting too quickly shuts down communication. It tells the horse there’s no room for error, and that vulnerability will be met with correction. But allowing space—pausing, breathing, waiting—invites the horse to process and try again. This is where rapport deepens: in the space between resistance and resolution. A rider with feel doesn’t just ride the horse—they ride with the horse. That nuance, repeated daily, turns lessons into conversations.
Adjusting the Approach, Not the Expectation
Every horse has a different learning style, just like people do. Some are eager and quick but easily overwhelmed. Others are cautious, needing time and reassurance. The rider’s responsibility is to keep the standard high while adapting the approach. This doesn’t mean lowering expectations—it means adjusting how the work is introduced and reinforced.
A tense horse may not be ready to perform a movement today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t in time. Rather than drilling the exercise, the rider might break it down, revisit the components, or change the environment to reduce pressure. Rapport is built when the horse feels its pace of learning is respected. Trust grows when the rider shows patience without sacrificing clarity.
This is especially true in transitions—between gaits, movements, or mental states. A horse that’s asked to shift gears before it’s prepared learns to anticipate with anxiety. But when transitions are prepared with softness and support, the horse begins to offer them willingly. The training becomes a flow, not a fight.
Rewarding the Try
Progress in training isn’t measured only by completed movements. It’s measured in willingness—the horse offering a step toward understanding, a moment of softness, a breath of effort. These moments must be acknowledged and rewarded. A soft word, a released rein, a brief pause—these tell the horse it’s on the right track.
Ignoring the try or always demanding more erodes rapport. The horse learns that nothing it offers is enough, and eventually stops trying. But when effort is noticed, even if imperfect, the horse becomes more invested. It begins to seek out the right answer. It starts to engage with curiosity rather than compliance.
Daily training becomes less about correcting what’s wrong and more about reinforcing what’s right. This doesn’t mean the rider accepts mediocrity, but that they understand learning is layered. Trust grows not from perfection, but from patience with the process.
Physical Preparation Supports Emotional Willingness
A horse that is physically uncomfortable cannot be mentally available. Sore muscles, poor saddle fit, dental issues, or fatigue can all manifest as resistance in training. Part of building rapport is ensuring the horse’s body is supported in every aspect. This includes thoughtful warm-ups, appropriate rest days, proper footing, and balanced nutrition.
It also includes recognizing when to push and when to pause. Some days, the horse may be mentally willing but physically tight. On others, it may be physically ready but distracted or irritable. Rapport means meeting the horse where it is, then guiding it gently forward. The best riders see their horses not as machines to be calibrated, but as living partners to be cared for.
Addressing physical needs isn’t a detour from training—it is training. A horse that feels good in its body is freer in its movement and more open in its mind. Every stretch, every massage, every mindful ride communicates that the rider values the horse’s experience. That message strengthens the bond in ways no correction ever could.
Time as the Greatest Trainer
The deepest partnerships in dressage aren’t built in a season—they’re built over years. They come from showing up every day, not just with skill, but with humility. They grow from the willingness to adjust, reflect, and sometimes retreat in order to move forward stronger.
Rapport isn’t the absence of resistance—it’s the ability to work through resistance together. It’s a quiet resilience built in the barn aisle, in the warm-up ring, in the moments between effort and ease. Riders who value the relationship more than the ribbon find that progress comes not in spite of that mindset, but because of it.
Each ride offers a choice: to control or to collaborate, to demand or to develop. The riders who choose development, even when it takes longer, are the ones who discover a level of partnership most never reach. And in that place, where trust meets timing, the horse offers not just obedience, but heart.
Conclusion: From Resistance to Rapport, One Ride at a Time
Training is not about eliminating resistance—it’s about using it to reveal where communication can grow. Daily rides become opportunities not to conquer the horse, but to connect with it. Through consistency, feel, empathy, and care, the horse and rider become more than a combination—they become a team. And in that team, the resistance once felt becomes the rapport now shared, built quietly, patiently, and deliberately, one ride at a time.